Anger Is Not a Bad Emotion
We don’t talk enough about Anger! 🔥
Despite its bad reputation, anger is not bad, even though it might feel bad. Remember, there are no "bad emotions"—I will keep repeating this over and over and over again. 🔄
Yes, anger is not easy! It’s hardwired into our brains and essential for our survival. It’s intense and complex, and all we want to do is get rid of the internal pressure that it brings.
Anger is a primary emotion—a fundamental, immediate emotional response to a perceived threat or violation of one’s needs or values. It’s there to protect us, to signal unmet needs or crossed boundaries, and often shows up when our values, principles, or limits are being challenged. 🚧
Anger might not come alone!
As humans, we almost never experience just one emotion at a time. This cannot be easy, can it? Welcome to the joys of Being Human :)
There is usually one main or primary emotion, and underneath it, there are often several smaller emotions.
When your colleague criticizes your work during a presentation, anger dominates. But you also feel embarrassed because they called you out in front of your boss and coworkers. And, there’s a touch of anxiety and doubt as you worry whether your work might actually fall short.
When a friend cancels plans at the last minute, anger dominates. But you also feel disappointed because you were looking forward to spending time together. Plus, there’s some frustration as you wonder if they value your friendship.
When a family member diminishes your career choice during a holiday gathering, anger dominates. But you also feel hurt because their comments seem dismissive. Plus, there’s insecurity as you question whether you’re making the right career decisions.
What is underneath your Anger?
You’ve probably heard of The Anger Iceberg—an insightful visual that helps us reflect on what might be hiding underneath the surface of anger and how we can connect with it on a deeper level.
Take a moment for reflection. 💭
Think about the last time you felt anger.
What do you think was behind your emotion?
Anger is a natural and valid emotion, and it’s ok to feel it. It’s there to show us important information about who we are and what we value, similar to other challenging emotions.
What is the message Anger carries?
Trying to understand the message emotion carry is a valuable strategy to support us in building better relationships with our emotions and ourselves. What are emotions trying to teach us? What are they signaling that we should pay attention to? 🧠💡
Anger can signal that your boundaries are being crossed.
Anger can signal that your needs are not being met.
Anger can signal that your voice is not being heard.
Anger can signal that you are stuck in a situation.
Anger can signal that you are no longer growing in your job or life.
Anger can mobilize us to take action, address conflicts, advocate for our needs, and assert boundaries. So, instead of pushing anger away, let’s try to make space for it. Understand why it’s there, listen to the message behind it, and make choices that align with who we truly are and what matters most to us.
Let’s Talk
Are you interested in exploring more strategies to help you navigate Anger? Are you ready to start the coaching process and begin to build supportive emotional skills? Get in touch—we can discuss your needs and goals and find ways to personalize this process so you can get the most out of it.
